Episode Six: Deano, Wherever You May Be
Clearing up some misconceptions
Our previous explorations of the World of Deano have attracted much favourable comment, but also no small amount of confusion. For some Deano remains an elusive concept, either because they personally don’t know any Deanos, or because the quality of British socio-political discourse is generally so terrible that Deano is easily confused with other figures of popular imagination that commentators carelessly bandy about. Without further ado, therefore, I present a short list of common Deano-related errors.
World-elite poker player and confirmed Deano, Sam Trickett.
Misconception Number One: Deano is white. Of course, most Deanos are white, but Deano can very easily be Asian, black, or mixed-race. Deano of course grew up in this country, but he is not remotely confined to one ethnicity. In a funny way, the existence of ethnic minority Deanos is a very positive sign, a marker of successful integration. If you would like to meet an extraordinarily diverse cast of Deanos, please check out this link.
Misconception Number Two: Deano is working-class. In reality, Deano is at least as likely to work a white-collar job as a blue-collar one. Real estate, not plumbing, is the quintessential Deano profession. If we’re using traditional class descriptions, Deano is perhaps best described as nouveau-riche lower-middle class, but we increasingly believe that those designations are of little use in modern Britain. In particular, we think it very stupid that so many political commentators use the term “white working-class” without heavy qualifications, given both the very high levels of ethnic diversity amongst younger Britons, and the extraordinary damage to the cohesion of that class that was done decades ago by first slum clearance and then deindustrialization.
Misconception Number Three: Deano is northern. While many Deanos do hail from the North, the true spiritual home of Deano is the Midlands. In truth, however, Deanos are found all over the country. The famous “Essex lad” is of course a Deano, but Essex is not the Deano urheimat because so many Essex lads play up to the stereotype, and in his truest form Deano is entirely unselfconscious.
Misconception Number Four: Deano is a gammon. This is just wrong. Gammons are quite a bit older, almost exclusively white, and have long since paid off their mortgage. They drink in shitty old man pubs and read the tabloids. Virtually none of this applies to Deano. It may be that Deano’s dad is a gammon, but Deano has very much created his own identity. In particular, Deano has been formed in a world of very low interest rates, and his consumption habits reflect that.
Misconception Number Five: Deano is lower-IQ. Deano may or may not have gone to university, and if he did it probably wasn’t a great one, and if he went, he didn’t pay a huge amount of attention. But this reflects more his interests than his abilities. Many Deanos are savvy and accomplished. The “Upper Deano” phenomenon is very powerful and real. High-profile examples include boxing promoter Eddie Hearn (2 Cs and 1 A in mediocre A-level subjects, never went to university), and Rob Yong, owner of Dusk Till Dawn casino in Nottingham and the major force behind PartyPoker becoming good again. Most Deanos will know what xG is, and some will watch Squidge Rugby.
Misconception Number Six: Deano is socially conservative. Outside of the lesser-s-spotted “woke Deano” (a rare but real phenomenon), Deano is largely indifferent to the culture war. He doesn’t hate leftism, he just finds it somewhere between incomprehensible and annoying and wishes it would go away - on the rare occasions it intrudes into his life. Deano strongly dislikes crime and is mildly hostile to immigration, but thinks Brexit has sorted that problem. That’s as socially conservative as he gets.
Boris Johnson appeals to Deano because of his lack of ideology, not because Deano is a diehard Tory or because Deano thinks Boris is one. Owning the libs is a fine thing to do on occasion, and no doubt some Deanos enjoy watching the Tory party do it, but fundamentally you appeal to Deano by keeping interest rates low, cutting taxes, and making sure he gets that big chunky bonus come the end of the year. If the economy doesn’t grow, you can only keep Deano happy in other ways for so long.